The biggest sigh in the world

Yes... i wish it could have been different... i wish we could have changed the world... i wished for everything to change... i prayed... though i know i'm not a catholic... i had faith in what this was... i had faith... today i don't find it... i just can't... who's gonna find it this time? did i lose everything i had? did i win this losing game?
i don't know anything today... i just know that sometimes it's just too late to try harder... sometimes it's worthless... i don't wanna try hard anymore... i just want to feel the life... the love... the freedom and the truth... and i will let myself feel it because i have nothing left to do...

I cried last night with this poem... i love it

“I carry your heart with me”

E. E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere i go you go,
my dear; and whatever is done by only me is
your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

xx
Smooth

so what?

"...So I'm gonna drink my money, I'm not gonna pay his rent..."

Years since i don't write here, i just came here to say i'm kinda fed up about everything and i miss my old life...
period

i missed my blog too...
Smooth

La Lettre

Hello? hello? are you still there? I'm calling you, Young L. cuz apparently you're not here anymore... i mean... where's the young guy who got easily wasted? the one who didn't care about anything? the one who kept on drinking with his friends until someone puked? the one who wanted to smoke weed but never did it because his junkie friend D. was selfish when he was high?... the one who thought that life was short... the one who wanted to "live fast, die young and be a beautiful corpse"...

I remember you wanted to get a tattoo... you wanted it to say "I'm not afraid to keep on living"... but dude... you never did it... cuz you were afraid, cuz life's frightening, cuz you are, indeed, afraid of living... you're afraid of trying... afraid of telling the truth to all this people that's gonna judge you... or maybe not... either way, you're afraid...

It's been 3 months, almost 4, since you fell in love with A. a free soul, someone who is your complete opposite and yet a reflection of your old self... someone with fears, with problems, but free... free from the chains you're carrying with yourself all the time... with the same desires you had when you were in highschool, with the same crazyness, with the same freedom... and you are destroying that freedom, why? maybe you just can't resist the idea of something bad happening to that beautiful free spirit... maybe you're just afraid... still afraid... always afraid... afraid of what? of losing something? someone? you've never had anything easy and simple... so why are you complaining? you're used to loss... to sadness... stop complaining...

Where's that hymn you sang? "I'm not afraid to keep on living"? ha! now you don't even listen to that song, it makes you feel pity for yourself, you can't stand it... cuz you know everyone's free but you, you're turning into a 40 year-old-cat-lover spinster... but you know you're not like that... you know there's still a guy inside you who takes risks... who loves vodka and vandalism... c'mon... look inside... behind some spiderwebs... there he is... wanting to come out of his darkness... just relax... and please... stop being afraid... i'll take care of you... perfect balance... just relax...

and breathe... just breathe...
Smooth

Vanity...

Vanity... deadly sin... but you know you love it... you know you love when you get a new hairdo and people says it looks great... yeah, you love that feeling, you know when people tells you how thin you've got since they met you, and you know when your significant one says you're incredibly cute... yeah, you know that feeling, and you know you love it... that's why you spend at least 15 minutes straightening your hair every morning and taking pics for DailyBooth... but somehow... you know it's never enough, you know you wanna be that skinny guy on the TV, you know you wanna get that haircut everybody's wearing, and you know you wanna be perfect... but... does that make you perfect? or just good looking? does that make you smarter? funnier? no, and you know it... so go get that haircut, make a diet, you know that is not the path to perfection...
what is your idea of perfection? tell me :D
Smooth

On life and bikes

Life... is a lot like learning how to drive a bike... when you start, you're all enthusiastic about it, you can't wait until you get into the bike, into the real world, and start driving like a pro... the thing is that, on the way of learning, you have to fall, you fall over and over again, you ride through the same roads where you know you'll be more likely to fall, cuz it has holes in the ground, it has big rocks that'll make you trip... but you still drive through the same road, and just like you expected, you fall... and you do it again, expecting the next time will be better. The thing is that you have to fall, it's not that cool to be a pro from the beginning, otherwise you won't have those amazing bruises and scars, those warrior scars that'll make you look like a hero, cuz in the end, we're all heroes who survived war, life, and still, we fall everytime we grab a bike...

... But it is such a perfect place to start... my love...

*escuchando: the world is not enough - Garbage*

Me dieron ganas de escribir... de escribir y revivir este vacío blog después de un rato... antes escribía, y mucho, cuando el remolino de emociones parecía ser nuevo... ahora... el remolino se ha vuelto tan turbulento, que ni siquiera me mueve a escribirlo... es tanto que es risible, y no por eso menos intenso... simplemente me río de las estupideces que me pasan, llegan momentos en los que creo que quien sea que esté allá arriba se está riendo mucho de mi... MUCHO.
pues ya, cumplí 20 años... me siento más viejo? no, más joven? tampoco, más cansado? definitivamente, solo? si... y no...
la pregunta es... he cambiado? qué tan diferente soy de ese niño de 17 años que empezó este blog? pff... soy demasiado diferente, demasiado, soy más viejo, objetivamente, soy más maduro que a los 17 pero menos maduro de lo que debería ser a los 20, de eso estoy seguro... soy más fuerte, soy más delgado... eso es algo bueno... no? conozco más gente, amo a más gente... gente buena... y detesto a más gente muy mala... me río menos, pero trabajo más... eso me llena... la mayor parte del tiempo... tendré más amor? si, supongo que sí... pero también estoy más solo... aunque tengo también más amigos, he leído muchos más libros y he escuchado muchos discos, he visto más películas, he besado a más gente, he dormido, y despertado, también he llorado mucho, pero eso es normal, siempre he sido demasiado sentimental... me he enojado... y a veces no se me quitó jamás... he extrañado lo viejo, pero también doy gracias por lo nuevo, perdí amigos, muchos... y recupere unos cuantos... y al final del día... mi vida sigue... no se por cuanto tiempo... pero espero estar aqui para resumir los cambios...
Smooth

Paseleeeee

Hey, les dejo el link de un blog alterno sobre publicidad que estoy haciendo como parte de un proyecto de la universidad, visitenlo y diganme que les parece

The Advertiser's Guide to The Galaxy

Peace
Smooth

Como se vería si...

Hey bloggers! ps la verdad estoy bien aburrido y me puse a photoshopear (muy malamente, la verdad) una foto de Beth Ditto (vocalista de Gossip) para ver cómo demonios se vería si fuera delgada... creo que haré esto más seguido... los resultados estan impresionantes! la verdad creo que sería una mujer bastante atractiva, los dejo bloggers!

ANTES



DESPUES



Estaría padre poder hacernos flacos de un photoshopazo en la vida real no?
PEACE
Smooth

Ya decía yo...

ya ven chicas? pa' que aprendan! hahahahahaha
no, ya en serio, esta genial la imagen, sin afán de herir susceptibilidades y con todo respeto, haciendo burla de la sociedad machista en la que vivimos...
saludos a todos
Peace out
Smooth